OBAT ANTIDEPRESAN LAINNYA

GREETINGS:

NIRVANA is a heavy-pop/punk/dirge combo spawned from the bowels of Seattle, Washington. Although only together for seven months, KURT [guitar/vocals], CHRIS [bass], CHAD [drums], and JASON [guitar] have blessed the world with a single, an LP entitled “Bleach”, and one cut on the Sub Pop 200 compilation, as well as attaining success, fame, and a following of millions.

Selling their bottled sweat and locks of their hair has proved to be the biggest money maker so far. Plans for the future include dolls, pee-chee folders, lunch boxes, and bed sheets.

In the towering offices of the Sub Pop world headquarters, talent agent dynamos Bruce Pavitt and Jonathan Poneman have the utmost faith in NIRVANA’s star qualities, and they see to it that the boys in the band get whatever their rock star hearts desire–and that means no brown M+Ms! NIRVANA hopes to produce more projects with them in the future.

NIRVANA sounds like mid-tempo Black Sabbath playing the Knack, Black Flag, the Stooges, and a pinch of the Bay City Rollers. Their personal musical influences include H.R. Puffnstuff, Speed Racer, divorces, drugs, sound effect records, the Beatles, rednecks, hard rock, punk rock, Leadbelly, Slayer, and, of course, the Stooges.

NIRVANA sees the underground scene as becoming stagnant and more accessible to big league capitalist pig major record labels. But does NIRVANA fell a moral duty to fight this cancerous evil? NO WAY! We want to cash in and suck up to the big wigs in hopes that we too can GET HIGH AND FUCK. GET HIGH AND FUCK. GET HIGH AND FUCK.

SOON we will need groupie repellent. SOON we will be coming to your town and asking if we can stay over at your house and use the stove. SOON we will do encores of “GLORIA” and “LOUIE LOUIE” at benefit concerts with all our celebrity friends

NIRVANA c/o SUB POP

Thank you for  your time.

 

Ps: Ini saya tulis ulang dari salah satu dari sekian kumpulan teks 'menggemaskan' di sampul kasetnya NIRVANA yang ‘Sliver: The Best of the Box [2005].